Make it yours...

For all the things that make you laugh.

For all the things that make you cry.

For all the things that make no sense.

And always leave you asking why.

Grapple life and never let go.

It's own surprises, they come and go.

You take the best and leave the rest,

make the most of what you have left.

For of all the words of pen and tongue,

the saddest are if only...

Embarassment

Your face is burning, you want to hide, sit behind the flames. You close your eyes and hope you vanish, open, they are all still there and nobody likes you. He tells you to sort it out, you want to sort it out but your body freezes. There is no way in, and you're ever faster slipping away. How will you ever refrain, how will you forget, you're blowing this out of proportion. It's all your fault, you forgot the limit, you kept pushing and there was no pulling. You close your hands into fists tightly, nails digging into your palms, blood draws you feel no pain, except for the blunt knife reciprocating through your stomach. Everybody can tell you have done it all wrong, they are all silent, they are an audience to your series of unfortunate events. You are useless, you kid yourself "I am better than this." But really, are you? So apparently nothing happened, but your conscience begs to differ.

Right, here is your chance, take it, take it. You missed it, now she's gone. You walk, but you want to run, he tells you not to worry, if only it were that easy. You sit and hope this will all be over soon, you want to rewind. You promised yourself that you would behave, you broke that the moment you stepped foot outside the house. I try and go to sleep.

Hyper-Active

>You wanna leave now?

>Yeah sure 1mo, I need to get ready

>Oh yeah, nono dw, I can wait

(The other person has signed out. End of Conversation)

I sit at my desk frantically finding something to do. I was lying, I couldn’t wait; I wanted her to be here right now. I heard something, it sounded like the doorbell, no wait; it was just a sound on my computer. It was her again. But wait, wasn’t she coming over? I send her an instant message.

>Hello?

You not coming?

(The other person has signed out. End of Conversation)

All right, maybe she has left now, I reassure myself. My eyes go back to wandering around the bedroom. I looked down to my wrist, the hair band was there to remind me of her; there was never a time at which it ever failed to do so. Wait, a text message.

Here. X

I spend so long reading the message, I don’t realise that she had rung the doorbell about 2 minutes ago.

“Yeah, coming.” No way near loud enough for her to hear, all the way outside my house.

I put the phone down, rush down the stairs and open the door. She looks cold. Maybe I should hug her, no wait, she has only just got in, calm down. I quickly lead her into the house, as she glides past me, a voluptuous scent whirls around my face, and I forget where I am. Her hair is tied back; it looks kind, soft and calming. I want to stroke her face; I want to play with the little stars around her small soft ears. Her smile reminds me of the summers of my childhood; I feel so excited.

She is here now, in my house with me, now would be a good point for time to slow down. We enter my room, she is beautiful, I wish I could play the guitar, I would play her a song that sounded just like her. Maybe I will draw her one day.

Her touch, it’s soft, it’s slow, and it’s relaxing, I want to purr. I bring my face up to hers, slowly rubbing my nose against her neck. Her scent, it brings a rush of amorous desires to mind, maybe I should take a bite out of her. Her skin is soft and supple and the sight of her bare skin makes me ecstatic. My fingers tiptoe along her waistline, the sun shines through the window, the cool breeze softens the blow of the stifling heat and the sound of evensong serenades the sun’s departure as twilight emerges. I could get used to this, summer was definitely going to be fun.

(Untitled)

You tease me in my sleep,

and haunt me when I awake.

You whisper in my ear,

How much more can my mind take?

The truth slowly creeps out,

warming its toes in the sun.

My mind begins to wander.

The disease has just begun.

Fatigue attempts to lure me away.

With its arms locked tightly around me

But still i remain, entranced in your image.

And the cold stare is frightening.

Is this an addiction?

Do I want you or

NEED you?

Alea iacta est